The MINDIE Method

Mindie is available for in-person and virtual psychotherapy sessions via her Executive Health by Mindie Barnett Psychotherapy practice. Her expertise is in interpersonal relationships, overcoming depression, coping with anxiety and avoiding and overcoming burnout among many other wellness areas. Life coaching and career coaching are also areas she excels in. For more information or to schedule a session
visit mbexecutivehealth.com 

Dear Mindie,
I feel like I am drowning. My boss is so mean, she is constantly criticizing me and has very unrealistic expectations what a human being can get done on a normal workday. She is constantly embarrassing me in front of my colleagues and making me look and feel stupid. I really feel she is harassing me, but I cannot quit my job without another job lined up. The other issue is I do not have any personal time nor breaks in my day to even look for another job, so I feel very stuck and have the sensation that I am sinking. What do I do to combat this deathtrap of a situation? I feel like there is no real solution on the horizon and I am not sure how much longer I can take of this. Please help me.

Sincerely,
Work Woes

Dear Work Woes,
I am so sorry to hear about this incredibly toxic workplace you are a part of! It’s sadly common for bosses to have narcissistic traits and it sounds like your boss is looking to prove her power by executing some very unhealthy tactics. I understand your need for financial security and that quitting your job without another one to seamlessly replace it is not feasible. That said: I would encourage you to spend at least a few hours a day job searching with intention. I do not know what time you wake up and start your workday, but I would recommend that you set your alarm an hour earlier than you normally would and dedicate the first hour of your day to apply for positions which are of interest to you. Then, at the end of your day dedicate another hour to see if you have gotten any replies or if there may be anything additional to apply for.

I understand this routine will add to your already long (and stressful) day but if you aren’t able to tackle the outreach during your 9-to-5, you need to get creative. Then, hopefully once you’ve secured an interview you can use PTO or personal time to pursue.

In the meantime, while you are in that environment, do your best to focus on what you can control. You cannot control your boss’s actions, but you can control the way you allow her to enter your head and how you react to her behavior. Remind yourself of your worth, your talent, and lean in heavily on those who love and support you.

I would also recommend keeping a mini brag book, noting all of your professional proud moments to reflect on daily as a tangible way to provide yourself with affirmations. Lastly, allow yourself some sort of daily reward at the end of a workday. This will serve as something to look forward to and a token for persevering another day.

This too shall pass and, in the end, I have a feeling you will be stronger and more attuned to your self-esteem as a result.

Chin up,
Work Woes! With Love and Light,

XO Mindi